Ali sent this link out to us girls this morning. I like it and want to save it/re-post it here.
(paulstoker.blogspot.com)
THE ART OF BEING A STAY-AT-HOME MOM
I'm writing this post for women who want to stay at home to raise children and want it to be as enjoyable as possible. Well, I have all the answers. Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.......sigh................that was a good one. But I am old, and I did stay at home and lived to tell the tale. So here are some tricks of the trade:
1. Exercise-(outside if possible) Okay, I know you've got a million reasons why you can't, and they're good reasons. Maybe you can't be at the gym doing zumba, pilates, and power, but everyone in the family needs you to be fit and strong and they also really like it when you're cheerful, so make it happen. My favorite is walking in the morning with a friend. Sometimes I went without children before my husband went to work. Sometimes I walked with a baby in a stroller, but if I could wrangle a friend into going with me, it was 2 for 1-therapy + exercise.
When it was too cold to walk, I turned to my virtual friends Cindy (Crawford), that one pilates girl, and the Dancing with the Stars people. Okay, sometimes I wasn't following along the whole time, but something's better than nothing. And if it looks like none of those options will work, just lift the baby with about 8 sets of 10 and follow up with dancing crazy in the living room. Once my OB asked what I had done to exercise that week. I told him I walked really fast at the grocery store. Apparently, that was an unacceptable answer.
2. Identify "No clutter zones." Some people have "no clutter houses" and I wish it was me, but I just couldn't seem to manage that. There were complicated Lego altercations in one corner, brilliant paper creations in another, baby toy baskets, my book/magazine/project that I needed to keep out and visible to increase the chances that I would pick it up. When all this lovely creating started to get to to my left brain and I began to feel order-deficient, I solved the problem with no-clutter zones. Since I care what people think, my first no-clutter zone is the room that company sees upon entering the home. When I lived in an apartment I had a welcome display instead of company room. That means a table with a decoration and decoration only, no keys, school papers, pencils, gloves, nothin'. The other clutter-free zone was my room. I tried to keep my bed made and pretty and my room picked up. My kids' rooms were whatever, but my brain needed a place to rest, and that's what "no clutter zones" gave me.
3. Play to your strengths and make your home and family fantastic. "Don't compare your journey and your children to your friend's journey and your friend's children." Get ideas and inspiration, but not feelings of inadequacy or condemnation. The great thing about being a stay-at-home mom is that you're the boss. You write the plan. Okay, you don't feel like the boss when you're nursing a baby every 2 hours, or potty training a toddler, but you have the opportunity to educate yourself and teach your children what you value in a way that your talents allow. So decide what you really want for your children i.e. love, stability, God, imagination, literature, music, sports, discipline, resiliency, etc. and give it to them.
4. Bring a friend. Meet the other moms at the park. Let the kids play (fight over toys and learn to negotiate) while the moms commiserate over sleepless nights, messy houses, and diaper rash. I will forever hold a special place in my heart for my friends from my intense mothering years. I was shameless in my dependence on them for my sanity. I like to think we needed each other. Who else would listen to the anxieties that keep playing through our mother brains and then tell us we're perfectly normal?
5.Create. So much of what stay-at-home-moms do gets undone but still needs to be done again. Identify an activity that you can invest time into where progress and improvement can be observed. Did you ever wonder why young mothers craft? It's not that there aren't enough cute decorations in the world. They just need to hang something on the wall that says, "I lived today." Of course creating a family is an eternal creation, and no effort is wasted, but for a quick fix in the "Am I making a difference?" arena, practice the piano, make a family home evening chart, paint a wall, plant a garden, can some peaches, take some pictures, blog, write in a journal, read a book, decorate a card, just a little something measurable to give you encouragement.
6. Wear mascara every day. I am not kidding. After my first baby was born and I was wearing my husband's clothes because mine didn't fit and my hair looked bad I felt like my old life was over, and I was a little bit right. I was right because the best was yet to come, but I could bring grooming and self respect along with me into my next phase. I find that if I run into the grocery store and I know I look bad, I keep my eyes on the ground so I don't have to see people's reactions to my unfortunate state. Wash your hair, put on your mascara and smile. You have people to love and you can't be worried about how you look
7. Go on a Friday night date with your sweet husband. I don't care how, trade with friends, transform your living room into a romantic getaway when the kids are asleep, (whenever that is) drink powdered milk and save up for a babysitter, but do it, every week. When my Dad was the bishop my mom made sure "Date night" was on the calendar for Friday nights and they always went out. And my own personal rule is that it's not a date if there's no food.
8. Know that you are enough. We are always improving, but we are enough and our children love us because we are their mothers. Some times are going to be just dandy; lists checked, children happy, house clean, but that will only be a few minutes every once in a while. That doesn't mean that things are going badly, it's just that life is made of "the messy bits." Children are the epitome of "messy bits." They are gifts from heaven and our greatest joy, but they can be loud and unhappy and demanding and sticky and feverish and awake more than anticipated. But this is part of God's plan, these opportunities to serve stretch us and strengthen us, but it may feel a little uncomfortable and overwhelming along the way. But when was anything worthwhile ever easy? So when it comes to motherhood if you feel like life is a little crazy, you're right on target and probably doing a very nice job.
9. Pray. It works.
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