Ironic that the post below this one is titled: Sleeping Beauty. It's clear someone is getting enough sleep around here, but it's definitely not me.
The nights of nursing round the clock are catching up with me and I am TIRED.
Claire is an angel, of course, and doing what she is supposed to in waking to be fed day and night every two to three hours. I can't complain about that, and I love holding her and looking and her and feeding her. She is amazing.
But something happens each morning after the 4am feeding and she isn't quite in the mood to go back to sleep. She wants to be held and enjoy watching the sun rise in my arms... I don't know how I feel about it. When I am up from 4-6 each morning with the little lamb (her cry sounds just like the baa of a baby lamb), it's sweet, but not so much when she dozed at 6:30 just as the rest of our family awakens. It's hard. Sort of makes me think back on the short-lived days of only having one child and sleeping whenever he slept!
This morning was especially rough as we'd had Jake visit our bed in the middle of the night and then I climbed back in bed to sleep just as Ty's alarm went off and he got in the shower. Tears started flowing and I felt like I couldn't get another morning started. The kids were going to be late to school - if they made it today - and I didn't really care.
BUT, when daddy came in to kiss the tearful, back-up-and-nursing-with-her-eyes-shut-and-head-leaning-against-the-headboard (we've all been there) mother goodbye he straped on his superhero cape and came to the rescue. He put work on hold - got the kids fed, dressed, lunches made and ready for school on time. He called my mom and arranged to drop Jake off to her for the day. And he left me suddenly with a quiet, empty house for the day and I wanted to kiss him. I did kiss him.
So mommy is much better now after sleeping on and off with little lamb until noon. She is happily humming in her sleep against my chest now, unaware of any trouble at all. Our family is in a bit of the refiner's fire right now - but she is so worth it! Every baby is.
4 comments:
you are AMAZING. i am so in awe. get ready for some tearful phone calls come april. i just can't imagine how i'll do....
Oh Anne! I wish I could come take your kids, hold your sweet new baby, and help with all the other things that keep going when you don't feel like going at all....You did that for me SO many times. I remember when Nash and Paige were born you coming over and staying with them just to make sure I could get a shower, get dressed, and feel like a real person for the day - and you taking Nash and Paige to your house to play when Abbie was born so I could do the same thing. I'm so glad you have such a good husband and that your Mom is around. Hope to see you at Christmas. Little Claire is darling!
anne...aren't we lucky to be married to such wonderful men?! way to go ty. amazing. i can relate to the fatigue...but not a family of four. my hat is off to you!! hang in there :) and happy thanksgiving!!!
Hey Anne. Not sure if you even remember me... I was in the old Chaparral ward like four years ago. Anyway, I was perusing Kyle's blog and saw yours on there. I probably wouldn't have posted anything but I read this post and seriously about started crying. I soooo remember this feeling of despair when you are just so blasted tired that you can't think straight. I only have three kids so I'm super impressed you are doing it with four!
Anyway, I know that was random but I couldn't help but say that. :) Good luck with your adorable kids! My blog is private but if you want another one to look at - email me airjordan04@cox.net.
Arian Hatch
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