A Mother's Day Bust - or Blessing?

It's Sunday morning, Mother's Day, 2am and Jakey has tearfully arrived at my bedside. "Mommy", I barfed up in my bed". "Oh, baby. You're sick? Climb in here with mommy", I said, as I thought about how exhausted I felt and determined to deal with the mess in the morning. He crashed immediately and I lay in between he and Tyler, wishing I could stick a leg out for some air. It was hot.

4am, I am startled awake by the sounds of gagging and retching. Within a second I have jumped up and whisked my child to the side of the toilet, feeling terrible for him and also feeling semi-amused at the way he sticks his whole head inside the toilet bowl to take care of business. Then I get dizzy. I carry him back into the bedroom, announcing to Tyler that we have a problem. He sits up in bed and I say "take him, I feel like I am going to die".

Dizzy, nauseaus and light-headed I take myself back into the toilet's edge not sure what is going to happen next. I lay myself down on the cool tile, head resting on the scale. "ANNE! Anne, did you pass out?" I wake up to Tyler standing over me wondering what just happened. "Ughhh" I moan, "I'm sick".

From there I head into the dark living room and drop on the couch. It's all I can do to find something to cover myself up with and I leave Jake and Tyler to fend for themselves. Hours later I become concious to the sound of fancy shoes click- clacking on the tile floors, I hear the garage door open and slam shut and when I muster the strength to open my eyes I see sunlight and, pressed against my face, a bright yellow pendant with silk flowers glued on to a flower-pot with kindergarten handwriting that says: "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY". Ashley is beaming as she presents me with her gift, tells me that it has been hiding in her backpack, and that she got all ready for church by herself since it is mother's day. It is now 6:15am.

I hold my breath and hug her. I tell her how sweet she is and how much I love her, then ask if she wouldn't mind if I take her gift down to Luke's room with me where I am now planning to find refuge from the day. I disappear.

By 9:30 it is clear that making it to church is not in the cards for Jake nor I. We are all disappointed. Ty and the kids will be singing in sacarament meeting. And I love mother's day at church. But Jake's been urping up on the floors all morning and I can't sit upright without doing the same, so they leave us.

The day continues with naps, vomiting, sipping liquid, trying to sleep. I hear phases of commotion upstairs, lots of footsteps, moments of silence and I know Tyler is busy. When we went to bed last night the house was a mess.

I feel sorry for myself, down in the dungeon alone, in misery. I wonder what it would be like if this was my jail cell and the only glimpse of sunlight and the outside world was the piece I could see up over the window well. I watch the sky, the leaves, and roll over.

They come down to visit me around dinner time. I've just thrown up again, so I am feeling better than I was five minutes prior, and I decide to join them upstairs. As I climb the stairs it smells good. I can see that Tyler's been vacumming. The house is tidy. The laundry is going and there are folded piles of clean sheets and blankets in the living room. The kids are coloring, our home is calm. I am filled with a sense of peace and happiness.

From my perch on the couch I watch Tyler and Jake head out back to barbeque. They look so much a like. They are so cute together. I listen to Luke and Ashley who are sitting together drawing, talking about school friends and why so many girls like Luke because of his hair (he said it). I smile. And it dawns on me. Maybe this mother's day flu hasn't been all that bad after all. Yes, I've been miserable and Ashley's never heard of any mother being sick on Mother's day, but it's given me some time to step back out of the picture, watch and listen to my family like a fly on the wall, and to reflect upon just how lucky I am to have them.

By the evening's end, Tyler had returned from the park, done baths and tucked the kids all in. And then he had time for me. He sat by me and rubbed my aching head. And I felt like the luckiest mom in the world.